Your source for Mountain Biking in the Triangle
Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill


Down in the Dirt
by Timm Muth
A monthly article by the author of Mountain Biking in North Carolina. Rants, raves, reviews and chain grease.

The Return of the Undead Zombie Tubes - February 2003
How many snake bit, punctured and patched tubes are hanging from your shop rafters right now? If it's anything like mine, the numbers somewhere between 5 and 57. I rarely reuse them, because I hate to pack an already-patched tube as a spare. But damn, they cost me $4 a pop, and some of them didn't even last a complete ride! They ought to be good for something, right? So after conducting intense laboratory and field trials, and being the industrious and notoriously cheap American lads that we are, my bud Curt and I launched into a episode of low-tech ingenuity rarely seen since the Depression, and came up with these cool uses for a resurrected zombie tube.
Several companies sell products designed to wrap and protect certain vulnerable spots on your bike. Now I'm sure these folks conducted extensive research and development (and probably paid a high-priced marketing firm for a subliminally-attractive corporate logo). But you've got to admit; even $10 or $20 is a lot to invest in a piece of equipment that - if it does its job right - will get torn up instead of your bike, forcing you to buy replacements. Now our zombie tube versions may not be quite as durable as their neoprene counterparts, but hell, they're basically free, so when one gets torn up, you just toss it and make another in two minutes.
Each of the tube reincarnations below are made from either strips or sleeves of tubes. Cut across a tube at any two spots, and you've got a sleeve of some length, something like a fat rubber band. Cut along the length of the tube, and you have a strip. So arm yourself with a couple of tubes, some sharp scissors or a razor blade, and a bag of assorted zip ties, and you're ready to attempt some real re-cycling.

Chainstay/Seatstay Protector
This was our first discovery, initiated by the shame we felt after looking at the deep chain gouges dug into our chain stays. We found that our Zombie Tubes kept the chain dings off, and even looked pretty funky with the patches still showing. After that, we started wrapping seat stays, down tubes, and anything else that showed major rock or chain wear.
Cut out a strip about 1" wide and two feet long. Place one end of the strip near the end of your chainstay/seatstay, and wrap the strip tightly around the tube and over itself once or twice to make sure it stays put.Then just start wrapping the tube strip down and around the chain stay, overlapping each time by maybe ½ the width of the strip. If you run out of strip before you get to the end of the chain stay, back up and try again, and this time stretch the tube tighter. Once you get to the end, slap a zip tie or two around the tube and chain stay to hold it tight.That's it; your frame is now remarkable well protected.For thicker protection, don't stretch the strip so tight, and overlap more. For less weight, use one of the Lunar tubes you paid $10 for, and stretch it way tight as you wrap.

One note: be sure to wrap the tube strip under any cables that run along your chain stay or seat stay. Otherwise, the cable will get pinched, and your bike will shift like an old school bus.

Bar End Grips
I hate spongy grips on my bar ends, but bare metal simply sucks in the mud. So I wrap extra-thin strips around the bar ends, just like we did on the chain stays, and tuck the loose ends under the handlebar end caps. The overlapped ridges give an excellent grip even in the worst conditions, and things never get all soggy. They'll take a good side-swipe into an oak tree and come back for more. And best of all, they didn't cost you a dime.

Headset Bearings
A short sleeve of Zombie Tube can help protect your headset bearings from grime and mud splash, and any water short of a full submerging. To install one, loosen your stem and remove it from the bike. Then cut a 2" Zombie Tube sleeve, and slide it up onto the stem for the time being. Reinstall the stem on your bike. Then slip the tube sleeve back down so that it fully covers the headset bearing race. You may find that this thing squeaks a little as you turn the handlebars, but I think that's way preferable to the crunching sound that means you just bought yourself a bearing replacement.

Super Bungee
I hate those crummy elastic bungee cords most places sell. They wear out too quickly, and the metal hooks can play hell on your paintjob. But take a dead tube, cut the stem out, and slip the ends through a set of plastic webbing clips (79¢ each at REI), and you've got a bungee that'll stretch 20' and hold three bikes on your rack through a hurricane. In fact, you can strap anything down with these puppies. I held a canoe on with a pair one time. The Curtman loves his so much; he made his sister-in-law mail it back after she borrowed it!

Bands
Heavy-duty ass rubber bands, that is. A simple 1" or 2" wide sleeve of dead tube is surprisingly strong and durable. We've used them to hold on broken seats, tie up busted derailleurs, keep my GPS from becoming a useless piece of busted electronics, and hold those hateful loose computers in place. Also found that you can use one to strap a mini-mag to your handlebar in about 2 seconds, by looping one end over the flashlight, stretching the rest of the band under the handlebar, then looping the other end of the band over the other end of the light. Functional, cheap, and fully adjustable.

Tool Bag
My cool, nylon tool holder looks real swank, but it always leaks when I dump in the creek, and my tools always get wet and rusty. It sucks. So I take a 6" sleeve of Zombie Tube, zip tied one end shut, and tossed my tools inside. Then, I roll up the other end, and close it tight with a tube rubber band. Turns out as water tight as a fish's behind, and it keeps your tools from clinking together to boot.

Rim Liner
Can't find a rim liner for that extra wheel you've got stashed? Slap a nice long, narrow strip of Zombie Tube in there, and punch a hole for the stem. OK, so real rim tape is better, but when you don't have a roll of that, a Zombie Tube strip sure beats the hell out of electrical tape.

Tow Rope
I've heard suggestions for using a dead tube as a tow rope, to help pull along a companion who's sporting a non-functioning drive train. Personally, I don't think I'd do this for any of my buds, but you never know what you'll have to do when you're 5 miles from the truck and the light is failing. Before tying a Zombie Tube from your seat post to his stem though, check that everything is tight, because you'd hate to find out the hard way that your buddy's stem is loose, and have it slingshot 20' into the back of your head. I think I'd file this one under "Use In Case Of Extremely Whining Significant Other or Other Emergency Situation."

Pump Protector
Last but not least, a properly-sized sleeve keeps the end of your mini-pump clean of goop. Most of the pumps I buy have little covers attached at first, but they're generally sacrificed to the Clumsy Hand God by the second or third flat.

Mountain bikers, in general, are a fairly environmentally-responsible bunch. We don't leave behind empty cans of Bud and Vienna Sausages, nor do we generally take a dump in the middle of the trail. Other than the tire tracks, you wouldn't even know we've been by - unless there's an old, dead tube hanging in a bush like a catatonic hoop snake. We don't need that kind of publicity, so if you packed it in, pack it back out, even if you are racing. OK, that's my sermon; thanks for listening.

So remember, flats may be our nemesis, and dead tubes may clutter the corners. But in the right hands, those Zombie Tubes can be turned into black gold.